Attract/Repell with intensity

I too often wonder how dramatically different, perhaps my mentality is from my peers. When I was a child I tended to be more excepting that many of my peers tended to be doing with their time what I felt as a waste. However, perhaps the simpler life, coupled with simpler mentality and desires towards a individuals future, as well as ambitions, may be the way to go. I have a constant nagging drive since as far back as I can remember to accomplish things. To be in a constant state of mass accomplishment. I have always felt that perhaps I think too much. Not for the reason that you may think, simply because I feel that perhaps I contemplate in more avenues of awareness than many of my peers. But not only this, I also tend to keep a constant record of these thoughts. I have journal entries such of this since I was age 11. When I was younger, it made much sense that my peers were not doing the same. However now in my mid 30s I look around and nothing is changed. To date, I have never met the company of even one individual that records to the level of eye. Perhaps I am in the wrong circle. Rats I do not surround myself with enough writers. I'm sure that if I started attending such groups I would then feel the influence of my peers and perhaps inspiration. I tend to be spending most of my time inspiring others. Which is also good. I do very much enjoy the inspiration that I give others, however I do crave inspiration myself. I do feel that I have perhaps more mentors and others, and it is this constant driving towards goals that my  mentors have accomplished but keep me on this road. However, I do feel that many of my mentors are not actually taking a active role in my life. I more watch their accomplishments and for those that I know, I try to mingle with often. Now as a undeniable adult, viewing my peers life, I see the same acts of repeated mediocrity . However, when I discuss this with them with nonjudgmental interest as a outsider of this mentality, they truly show no desire towards what I feel as greater thanks. And I almost admire this. Perhaps this is where the term, ignorance is bliss originates. I have a constant need to discover, learn, grow, expand and become a better self. I have no recollection of when this started and I do not feel that it is any greater now than when I was a child. I do hope that my children will hold the same mentality. However if they do not, I will have to learn to work with their personalized mentality, which will also intrigue me further. I enjoy working with individuals that view life from a different I. I often feel that perhaps my personality is too intense for any one person for a extended amount of time. This does not bother me, however others have voice to me that I should change. And I do not feel that I should change, so I do not. I am happy with who I am with my intensity. I do not feel stressed, or bothered by my mentality. And I often shield my true power of my being from others. To not overwhelm them. As soon as they start to see a part of me at first it intrigues, then it frightens. Perhaps I have become the car accident that they cannot look away from. LOL. The intensity of the situation attracts them, however it is the same intensity that repels them.