KickStarter :)

I have created a new kick starter account to get my new ideas for artwork and projects off the ground. Here is the loose dialogue that I have put together for my next project. : 

Well hello, my name is Xzanthia and I have been an artist and most every sense of the word sense, well, I guess as far back as I can remember. I have done most every form of art from photography and filmmaking to writing and what I'm coming to kick starter for, painting.

I would like to generate a large body of artwork to bring to next years burning man festival and do a beautiful presentation. If you haven't heard of burning Man you should Google it. It is a large artistic extravaganza. For of many influential artistic individuals from all over the world and most any genre and probably many genres that you never even thought existed.

I would like to expand my theme camp this year and create a large geodesic dome that is covered with a yet to be created body of artwork.

I plan to make one painting every week until August 2014. And I would like your inspiration on ideas as well as the funding to make my dream a reality. I have a full woodshop here at my studio where I actually create the surface for each painting. I do not paint on canvas, I tend to make wooden boxes so the paintings last longer and are less likely to become damaged overtime. 

It is the combination of these two things that I need your help for. Not only is the cost of attending burning man exorbitant. As well as the transportation cost of not only myself but my artwork. I also would lack The funds to build the show structure itself and for supplies to create the masterpieces.

I once that was a very established painter. Even owning a art gallery for seven years in downtown Denver. Which was called gallery XZanthia. My pieces have sold all over the world and even Sid Hague from Rob zombie movies and Trent Resner or himself from 9 inch nails have some of my artwork hanging in their house. However the last 10 years mediocrity has slowed my productivity to a hold. Mainly because finances have taken presidents.

I am dedicating the next year to my arts, and starving in the process. This is where I have come to kick starter for help and this is what I'm offering for those of you that participate.

For a five dollar donation you can be part of the creative process. You can email me a idea once a week and I will go through these ideas and pick the ones that I feel best fit what I'm trying to accomplish. 

For a $50 donation you not only get to be a part of the creative process by emailing me your ideas but I will also send you a 17 x 24 print of the artwork of your choice. 

For a 500 donation to be part of the creative process and I will mail you A 17 x 24 printed on canvas Limited addition painting of your choice autographed by me.

For a $1000 donation you get to be part of the creative process and you can pick one of my 8 x 10 original pieces that is handpainted by me. As well as two prints 17 x 24 of your choice.

For a $3000 donation you can get to pick of any of my body of artwork. As well as be part of the creative process and three prints of your choice 17 x 24 on Canvis.

And finally for a $5000 donation you get to give me absolute communication of the artistic direction of the painting that I paid for you individually. You can pick the size, shape, and content within my abilities as an artist. 

I will have up the numerous sizes and shapes of the paintings that I will be working on. 

I will have a secret webpage where only the individuals that donate to my kick starter can see what I'm working on. Anybody else can only see them if they actually come to my art show at burning man. After burning Man In August 2014, I will then put all of my artwork up on my website for all to view and purchase.

Thank you very much for wanting to be involved and happy bidding! 

Getting rolling.

It often seems that the creative juices flow all at once. Often unless I push the damn through the images inside never manifest into words written. For so long the bundled up energy of inspiration within my core feels as it is going to burst. Only with creation in the tears that run down my cheeks in the bitter sweet inspiration am I able to release these desires in any form upon the world. I always feel a reluctance towards the release which I must fight through. But once pushed aside be creative juices flow more abundantly than ever before. There was a time when I was more prolific than any of my peers, however be it that my age of the mid 30s I feel that I could be much further. Much of a life has gotten in the way of my true living. I have many inspirations that have been set aside for Monday and duties. For this sad reality my heart pounds with anxiety. I know that there is much more. I am aware of my true potential. So to step forward towards my goals with not allowing mediocrity too damn my creative river, I must move forward. So move forward I do, constantly in a reminder of all possibilities yet rendered.

Great escape.

I'm collecting back on the pieces of me. It seems that I have forgotten my own lessons. So with my solitude in the woods I begin to relearn them. 

I was thrashed too hard into this reality, so shattered pieces were all that was left of me. How many times did I have to be burned, before I finally would have this lesson finally learned. Giving too much till I am empty. Perhaps giving too much empathy. Focusing on others when I should focus on myself, embracing my weaknesses and manifesting self-doubt. If I stay here this'll be my fate so now I plan my great escape.

Makeshift reality.

This makeshift reality that tries to embrace me is ripping at the seams. 

No reality can truly embrace me. The matter how real it seems.

Often have seen many things I wish not to mention perhaps other worlds perhaps dimensions.

I often have been swept away but I always come back, even if the world's start to show cracks.

Crossing realities visions to dreams, knowing the world is not always what it seems.

Excepting hallucinations as possible education. And embracing all types of absolute sensation.

Never absorbing narcotics for reasons recreational or re-creational i've never had the need. For perhaps before my birth I had already had the seed.

So matter where I am and no matter what I see I will always hold onto this makeshift reality. 

Crippling demon.

There was a time when I was at peace and my words were as prolific as they are now.
However there was a being that had stolen this ability from me.
And for years I allowed this crippling mentality to infiltrate my ability to express.
This demon came to me which I shall not given name had placed me an arrest,
where I was in much distress, and fought so hard to be free.

I would grip my fist so tight that my palms would begin to bleed
as my nails dug deeper and deeper into them as to plant a seed.

My tears in my heart pounding as the thumb of this being suppressed
with this i regress as my love of life was my only company as I tried to conquer the strife.

Even years after the demon was destroyed and passed on to other worlds,
it's an infection still embraced my every action whiten this girl.
The fear of inability to communicate among other things had placed me in a jail of self-pity.
I had digressed to express any sign of individuality.
This demon was a human that subjugated my reality for only a short time.
And with this it had taken all that was mine.
It's seem to relish in my personality,
and this is what it tried to take from me.
For years I felt that it did succeed,
for to express myself I had no need.

As time is past is coming back fast to bite,
even though it's been years,
and so many tears.

To win this fight, to bring back the light,
to once again truly see to gain all the pieces with all my might,
that make me end my fears.

If you knew me before you may have wondered did i bend,
I had a broken heart that took time to mend.
And with this demon man as a monster,
I now realize this vasoon was meant to occur.
For what does not kill us, makes us stronger.

Do not fall in love with me without full comprehension.

Don't fall in love with me because you think you know who I am,
the complexity of my personality far out reaches the understanding that you are able to encompass.
Dive into the abyss of my mindless ramblings to gather a image of what makes all this.  
There are more pieces to this girl then bricks that built all the cultures around the world.
and is you sought after this information as these cultures many are thought
to be Myths and buried among ages of forget.

Do not fall in love me with me because you think you know who I am.
All you see is the skin of the mentality that I desire to release into eyes viewing of withen.
Thoughts profound encompass all that is aware then tread into the depths thay could me missed
of all that I have not discussed with my heart and my fist.

As space is endless my viewpoints place me is a state,
of all things surrounding, that once absorbed, can relate.

Two maintain a constant normality obstructs my ability to move on.
Then to truly perform in this society that has become our Babylon.

Do not fall in love with me because you think you know who I am,
for I am encompass as much darkness as I delight in the light,
Unless you truly are capable of unconditional love, your mind I will bend,
you may sit on the sidelines and simply admire as you try to comprehend.

Perhaps my empathy has become a disease,
for It has created dis-ease in the sense that I understand whats in me,
perhaps more then a human should without crossing the lines of insanity.

I have tried into waters deeper than many ever we desire to travel and soar.
I've played with the darkness and desired to learn more.
I have come to the light and danced and it's Beams,
l have came to this earth and lived through extremes.
One with the oceans rivers and streams.

Do not fall in love with me because you think you know who I am.
Although I will never be your enemy I will also never be your family.
I am the enigma that you can only see the corner of your eye.
And your comprehension I will defy however I will never lie.
You may feel that this is not said with much modesty,
all that I have to offer is absolute honesty.

Our mothers arms

To surround myself in nature's wonder,
rain or shine are terrible thunder.
There's nothing to fear when nature is near,
because her protection will always be here.

To live in the belly of a common fire
and to feel the calmness as you raise the flame higher.
To embrace all its pieces is my desire,

to allow this purity to encompass, to surround me to engulf me,
to travel into the wilderness with no compass,
knowing that wherever I pass not be a miss
because that is my path that was on my unwritten list.

Our journeys path although not always clear,
is always here despite our fears.

Although we may get off her path we will get back on,
every dawn to move toward the ultimate you.

To live in the world of karma traveling through mountains, valleys, and farms
and away from harm, not ever asking for more,
if your heart is pure you always fall into your mothers arms.

Hopeless thoughts of a mindless wonder.

Perhaps much in my mind are hopeless thoughts of a mindless wonder.
There are so very many subjects in this world to ponder.
And I may forever wonder what is yonder,

And the Road less traveled may always be fonder.

There may be a time to waste
as there may be a place
to discover things with less haste.

But the places here in the time is now
for me to learn truly how.

To get away from mind masturbation, and truly learn the word liberation
to escape from all the mutilation, of our societies education.

I've always had this need to believe my words onto this this book,
to give the world a final look at what it took
to give that final hook and sinker to a ultimate thinker.

In this world I truly see so much beauty,
all that surrounds me,
into encompasses has become a need.

The gift of knowledge that I have gained is my greatest feature
to step out into the world and become a teacher
to raise my arms up but not to force my thoughts on you as a preacher.

But simply the expression of knowledge is power,
and to do this most every waking hour,
is always been a natural flow of my life's road,
and communication is the only true code.

So if my words have focus or drift into the darkness
I hope you do not feel that your time reading is a mess,
for the thoughts roll off my tongue into your ear so please don't fear
that although some may be dark the light is always near.

The awareness of solitude.

What is the level of appreciation given by one's chosen isolation.  Not only the appreciation of oneself but the true appreciation of all that surrounds us. Only when in solitude can one truly see the world for what it is. Not that solitude is the cure for the fog that society blinds us, However the liberation of its grasp is greatest when your acceptance of time much needed to reflect is given. As I find myself in isolation that I directed this moment of my life and I can truly hear the sounds around me smell the world that encompasses me and have the feelings that the noise of the world would overshadow. With this creates the ability to reflect. Perhaps something lost in our people of this age. With the all too common hustle bustle of our world most tend to lose ourselves without even realizing that we have been absorbed. Without the ability of reflection perhaps one cannot truly understand their personal evolution. With the reflection becomes the understanding of the world and our true place in it. Many great cultures and religions created a situation such as a walkabout to Gain a full understanding of oneself, your spirituality, perhaps the gifts that would be given to you on the astral plane that cannot be received any other way. Only when the world is silenced and our anxiety drops can we then truly hear the message that the world is giving us. Much of our humanity is overrun by zombie type mentality that encompasses the masses and helps most no one. The only sense of benefit of this mentality is that of the hierarchies of society that gain by having minions do their dirty work so they may live up to the expectations of their true nature. Much of this is proven in our universities. Those who may not be aware that their schooling is thus of the creation of a slave rather than a master. Many of universities never expand any knowledge of how to truly hold one's own. But rather devote one's life to the man. Life in Babylon has been both beautiful and crippling, depending on your awareness level of all that is offered. Although it truly does have its benefits, it's elements are numerous and often hidden beneath a beautiful exterior. Spirituality entered into religion is both the greatest gift and the greatest handicap of our evolution as a species. The origin of religion which was spirituality has grown into a corrupt system around the world of mass control and more often than not, genocide. Separations from these things that have created such hate for the immense ignorance of the masses among our societies and people around the world has been the most defining factor of our absolute solitude.

A time for communication.

A lot of time has pursued since my last blogger post. There was a time when I often posted my thoughts, visions, ambitions and desires. As well as my studies and occurrences of my life. However it seems that life has gotten in the way of my recording of this thing that we call life. But here i am, working towards my goal of maintaining constant records of my life's situations and thoughts. This is now a introduction into what will become a in-depth view of different levels of my mentality that will be found nowhere else on the web. For those of you interested I very much do appreciate your feedback. Many cannot get past my images to have any further understanding into the personality that it is that makes XZanthia. However, for those of you who do have a passion for knowledge, experience, and understanding, not only of me and my beliefs and not even of the world how i see it, however just in general, I do appreciate any comments that you may have on any subjects that I post. And by doing this, I will then see if there is a world of individuals that still hold a desire for actually understanding their peers and friends. There was a time on my space where I often blogged, and gained much insight into my friends by their responses and blogs. However that time is long past since the age of Facebook. So now I awaken blogger, not only for the benefit of anyone listening, but also for the benefit of my personal release.