"Friend Zoned" love-lust-crushes-dating

Here is a subject of such complexity that even I have a difficulty in separating the thoughts to comprehension all sentences.

Love-lust-crushes-dating…

The intensity of these feelings be at both and individuals that you know well and perhaps have just stumbled upon is diverse and can be all encompassing as it is debilitating. Perhaps not all too often be its the end result as uplifting as the journey itself.

These can be very different depending on your gender. When it is said that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, take that to heart, our brains have evolved totally separately with different needs and chemical addictions. When a man and a woman try to project their mentality on their partner rather than empathize with the mentality of that individual all hell can break out in miscommunication.

However communication is set for a Nother blog, here I am speaking of love-last-crushes-dating. In my personal experience of dating and speaking to others on a emotional level to have been in wrapped in such acts, perhaps the Chase is more fulfilling than the capture. And metaphoric speaking, the hunt is more gratifying than the kill because once it is killed it is dead. This is a very female thought process. Which is why it seems that females despite the intense physical need for sex may hold out and seem to be playing games. Prolonging the experience. Many men do this as well, and this is the man that I personally gravitate towards. However, I have seen with being polyamorous and dating woman, that most woman like a firm direct hand towards sexuality and perhaps not cording at all. This controversy deflects my very understanding of what I think I understand. Perhaps I am reflecting my own desires and not necessarily the desires of my peers. Is gender such a difference in this mentality? And be at that there is not only men and woman, but also a large gray area in the sexes. And let's not forget about nature versus nurture.

When I contemplate my crushes of the past, I do not come up with a consistent flow of interest and events. At times a crush can last for years even when being rejected repeatedly. And others the crush only maintains while the unknown is still ever present. At times knowledge can extinguish the flame of excitement. For me it is the act of gaining this knowledge that is exciting, as exciting as the act of for filling sexually. However I, as many females, fear that after the hunt, the kill, the relationship will change. 

A consensus in the female mind of sex is that once we allow a man to explore our sexuality, The interest and him will either die, or become more then perhaps we are interested in.

It is this a abrupt change that often generates fear and most woman. Females tend to enjoy consistency, with a flair of adventurous aspects. But with the consistency come security, and a woman strives for security.

Although hard to put into words, this thought has been bumbling around in my brain through the last few months of conversations with my partner as well as other couples and singles. Many individuals come to me for counsel in their life and relationships. And I give what Council I can from my own experience of my life and the experiences that others have informed me of.

In age direction of conscious focus to this abstract overall idea, is when men come to me in complaint of females that have "friend zoned" them.

I myself has been guilty of friend zoning many of my male companions whom I became very close with however never sexual. My reasoning behind this can be dual with almost a opposite aspect of actions. Of course one of which is the level of physical attraction one may hold for the other. With woman physical attraction is not as important as emotional embracement. However this being said a woman has a fear of losing that individual with the act of sex greater then the desire to keep the friendship platonic. So perhaps this is always a poorly drawn line. When a female takes a friend as a brother, and there is any level of attraction there, she has thought of it. But does not want to disrupt the purity of the relationship.

Woman have a deep rooted fear that once the act of sexuality is carried out the man will no longer respect her. And moreover the lack of Chase lowers the excitement endorphins within the female. I speak of this from experience, not only from within myself, but from in-depth conversations with many other females. Once we carry the acts of lust with a man we no longer have the same power over him. And by power I do not mean this in a vindictive way. Simply that a woman wants to feel that she is important and the Chase prove this to her. Once she is caught the Chase is no more relevant and so the man may put his attention elsewhere. And not only this, if the relationship is not desired to grow to become formal than the friendship is faded when either individual gets a partner. For now the relationship has gone from brother sister which created security in that bond two past lovers. So now perhaps a new relationship would've threaten the previous bond of closeness because a sexual act was played out. So often to a female the act itself is not worth all of these consequences of losing that friend in any way. This is why a equally attractive man could be friend zone.

If the female is not attracted to the man it's simply rides in the fact that she does not lust for him. Without the desire of lust sexuality is less likely to occur. This is not always the case, for a woman would always choose a lesser attractive male who can offer her more in the sense of stability and resources then a extremely attractive man who has nothing going for him. She may marry the man whom has more the ability to take care of her and her brood but still have lustful reactions with the attractive man on the side. Not only men cheat, Man and woman both cheat just as often and for as much in the same realm of reasons as they are totally separate. But this is for another discussion.

I am at this time simply getting the words onto paper so I can organize them for the book I am writing on the subjects. This is very often the discussions that I hold with many couples and singles. Many levels of these subjects paying the interest of my peers. My ability to discuss them verbally is greater than that which to write down. This is what I am working on, and I appreciate you being part of this experience.

This could be expanded on immensely. However I will let it end with this. I am not giving men a answer how to get out of the friend zone with a woman. I still need further studying externally and within myself to be able to give proper counsel. However, I am giving empathy to the men on the mentality of the females that may be placing them in this unwanted category. Knowledge is power, so with this perhaps you are a little more powerful. Woman need communication, perhaps more than men. And if it is communicated that the relationship would never change and this communication was without full honesty and perhaps the friend zone could be removed. However I cannot it all guarantee this. It all rides on the individuals. This subject will need to be dived into further, and I will, I just need more time to communicate with others. If you have anything to say on this subject please feel free to discuss it with me one-on-one. It will help me with my writing and with helping others. I always appreciate your input.